X-men: The Last Stand
04-06-2010
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TNO Peasant |
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Xmen 3: The Last Stand
Excitement that's all I had for this movie. And why not? The first two movies were spectacular, both directed by Bryan Singer blew every expectation out of my mind, and who can forget my favorite line from the second movie:
Mr. drake "what do you teach?"
wolverine "art."
It cleverly blended humor with an amazingly deep narrative about racism and fear of change ,and also politics lack of humanity. Well for a superhero movie at least. Along with wolverine and the gang blowing the shit out of Magneto and William striker. That's what i loved about the director he balanced them so well. Then he left to direct a completly different movie i'll get to another time, and was replaced by Brett Ratner.
now i have nothing against Brett Ratner he directed the rush hour films and the produced prison break, and i love those. but this movie is so bad i'd be ashamed to show my face in public if i was him.
if you don't know the story i don't want to waste to much time to explain it because i wanna rant but here's a basic rundown:
A pharmaceutical company creates a "cure" for mutants based off of a mutant named leech who's power lets him disable any mutants power who is near him. magneto gets pissy and starts a war because he thinks the cure will be militarized. so the military militarizes it. (no shit right?) meanwhile jean grey is found at the bottom of the lake from the second movie but everyone learns she has a power called the phoenix (who is a homicidal bitch) and kills cyclops early in the movie then she is found by the x men and tries to bang wolverine and then runs away. (your probably saying What the hell!??! but hang in there.) so the xmen and magneto both try to get jean grey after she runs away and then they meet up and fight, then professor xavier gets disintagrated. the x-men then run home to cry, while magneto builds his army, and preparing jean grey as a final weapon. While all of this is happening there's a retarded teenage drama shit happening with iceman, rogue and shadowcat.(which doesn't affect the story at all!!!!) so it all leads to a final battle where magneto tries to kill leech and 6 x-men stand in his way. so instead of doing the logical thing and killing them directly magneto throws cars for an hour. yea how retarded. it all comes down to beast injecting magneto with the cure and wolverine killing jean grey because she went crazy.
Shitty movie. boring uneventful and confusing and disappointing as hell. since i could rant for a while I'll just sum up my hate in list form, here are 5 reasons i hate this movie:
1. shitty special effects. i would have liked more than 5 dollars spent on the cgi of the disintagration scenes, and cyclops laser and beasts running animations are so fake and shitty i cant believe they left the editing room happy. i mean i can see the wire when best "leaps" towards the army of mutants in one of the final scenes. and any cgi scene looks like it was created with windows movie maker.
2. killing off main characters?!?!?!?! Sure for some movies such as slashers and dramas this works but superhero movies!?!?!? what the hell!!! kill cyclops who is the only one in the series other than wolverine who had amazing potential they could have made the ending different and maybe even saved the movie and made it better had cyclops been involved. and Xavier dies? i know at the end he is still "alive" but again what the hell!?!?!?! he is the one whom the entire idea of x-men is centered around. plus i would liked to see more cerebro action that was so cool when we saw that.
3. shitty writing. I'll sum it up to one scene in a movie:
the xmen appear at the battlefield after the soldiers weapons get obliterated and the six of them stand in front of the un-armed outnumbered group and look ahead of them and see the mutant charging.
wolverine screams
"everyone get together and hold this line!!!"
are you kidding me? the unarmed marines and the six mutants are gonna miraculously defend this facility against an army of super powered humans? bad writing, not inspiring just bad writing.
4. the goddamn love thing with iceman, rogue, and shadowcat. it was poorly developed and didn't help the story at all. bad move marvel.
5. my final thing on my list that i think is the most important:
no new xmen. they have hundreds to choose from. they add one, beast. they dont even keep nightcrawler who was my favorite from the last movie. i thought when they killed cyclops they were making room for his brother or someone else. nope. not at all. theres dozens of new enemies which is nice but i came to watch xmen, not the brotherhood.
all in all i give this movie a 3 out of 10.
It was unbearable to watch, and just a mess of too many things happening. this wasn't xmen. It had the title but i don't consider this an actual movie. this should have stayed the writers personal fan-fiction and not a movie. It was bad. The music is quite possibly the only redeeming factor about the movie. John Powell's music somehow holds the movie together with a very unique score. John Powell scored the Bourne movies which is I think is why I'm partial to the soundtrack but regardless it sounds good. Now before i give up let me say one more nice thing about this movie, when they cast the characters they did a grass job of it. Each character is played well, you cant blame them for bad acting because it was horrible writing. Hugh Jackman and Sir Ian McKellen are spectacular they are wolverine and magneto to me. But i would think actors of this caliber would not sign on to a movie as badly written xmen was. I was looking over some of the first drafts of the script when they were released, and I died inside. How can an actor seriously look at a script for xmen 3 and think it is not written by a twelve year old? I'm sorry I think a twelve year old could have pulled off a better script. I'm done writing i cant take it anymore. I'm gonna go and scour my brain of any trace of this movie.
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