The New Order

[Hells Sniper]

The New Order vs. My Life I don't really know how to start this off, but....here I go. I have been part of The New Order for almost a year...and it's been a great time. I love it here, and I think all of you as friends. However, recently, I'm sure many of you noticed I'm becoming a bit more of a jerk, I apologize for that behavior. It has come to my attention that what I do on here, is different than how I am in real life. Since, I invited my friends I have become more irritable and...moody. It's very wierd to me, because I used to think I was the same on here as in life. I was talking to one of my friends yesterday, and they told me that TNO is like a seperate me. Meaning, it's like a split personality, and everytime I believe it is being threatened, I get defensive. I was thinking about this since 10 PM last night and even went to bed then. I figured out, he is right...and he told me not to take it that seriously, but...it got to me. It showed me that I am different and I love TNO and I love my real life. I just can't decide between the two. I can't choose one over the other...and....I don't know what to do. I've been thinking about this for hours, I couldn't even handle going to school with this on my chest. This isn't a resignation...it's just a break...a break from life and TNO. It's the weekend...I'm taking a break from everything. I probably won't even last one day from TNO....but I have to try. Again, I apologize for my behavior...and I don't know what to do, I really would like to have both balanced, but at the moment, I can not do it. I've spoken to both of my friends about this...I just don't know what to do.