[Naked Crook]

Wow...really good start Kairu. I really did enjoy it. You did a good job at expanding the dynamic between Cochraine and Reynolds, and you did a good job showing how rugged Silverblur is. I was very impressed with your first kick at the can. Very well done overall. There is very little I can nitpick, as it was grounded, fact checked, and continuous. There are a few technical things I would like to suggest if and when you plan to continue. 1. The dates you used confused me a bit. You put 2013 and 2040 in a few places. 2. Expand on The Elite more. Even if it is just narrative - give us a bit more transparency into his actions. What motives his plans? 3. The Trust and The UNSC response to what Silverblur is doing. I am sure both sides would step up after what just happened. They have every reason to. 4. The Covenant must know and not know some things. Is this Elite that is helping Silverblur on the up and up...or does he have Ulterior Motives as well? Don't discount The Covenant. Good work. Keep it up.